Sinners tend to respond sinfully to being sinned against

It's true. In my very limited and small experience in life, I have seen the pattern of revenge over and over again. "She said this about me so I'm going to say this about her" would be the one that comes forefront to my mind.
This attitude of justified gossip has ruined so many friendships. The need to defend yourself against the accusations of others more often than not culminates in you slandering that person. I've done it. I think we probably all have. When I was 13-15, I knew that gossip wasn't healthy or right. I knew it would possibly make the situation worse, but I had such a strong urge to defend myself that I did in fact make everything worse.

However, I learned something when I was 15, and then more strongly when I was 18 at Liberty. People RESPECT you when you don't gossip about others, but you may not find that out until later. After losing many friendships in my mid-teens, I made a point to not defend myself to the point of slandering another. I remember when someone asked me point blank "SO! Why don't you like Susan ?(name changed)" and I was totally hurt and taken aback. I did not want all of that to surface again. I did not want to tell this person the reason "Susan" and I had a falling out because then that would possibly change this person's view of her.

As a result of avoiding gossip at Liberty, I was thrown into a lot of uncomfortable situations. I was lied about and persecuted because of it, but I prayed that God would give me edifying words and to be able to avoid/change the subject if these situations happened.
Even though I was ridiculed a lot, some people told me they knew I would not discuss rumors or spread stories about someone else and that they respected me for that.

I'm not saying I never fell. Even though I did not talk badly to my school mates about some people at school, I would talk to my family back home.
It's a hard line between talking to someone about something you are struggling with in regards to a person who is persecuting you and crossing that line where you are spreading things that are not necessary to be passed on.

Where will the cycle stop? Someone has to break it in order for healing and reconciliation to take place.