Very Sick (How to do Laundry)

I am a very sick person at the moment! So I don't really have the brain power to write and update (although I will before long...all about babysitting and school and whatever) but right now I wanted to post something that I found when I was looking through my old Word files the other night.

Ashley and I wrote this for Jason when he was moving away to Pennsylvania...and it made me laugh when I read it on Sunday night :) Enjoy

HOW TO DO LAUNDRY

for Jason

written by Ashley and Amber

Step 1: Wear your clothes until they are dirty. (Now dirty does not mean you wear them until people noticeably steer clear of you because of your smell! If you wear it more than twice, it is dirty. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF UNDERWEAR. Underwear is a one time thing! Underwear is dirty as soon as you put it on).

Step 2: Put your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper/basket.

Step 3: When the basket is full (just to the brim, not 2 feet higher than the brim), take it to the nearest washing machine. Take with you detergent and fabric softener sheets for the dryer (if you desire softness…in your fabrics).

Step 4: Separate the colors! Darks, lights*, whites, towels and delicates**. Now, we realize that you are probably not willing to do all of that separating, and that is acceptable. Combine your darks and lights (it won’t hurt them…it will just fade the lights more quickly). NEVER WASH WHITES WITH ANYTHING BUT WHITES. Towels can be washed with their like colors too. We recommend you wash them by themselves.

Step 5: Put the clothes in the washer. If you are washing the whites, wash them in HOT water. If you are washing the darks, wash them in COLD water. If you are washing the lights, wash them in WARM water. If you combine your darks and lights, use cold water.

Step 6: Read instructions on the bottle of detergent. If you have a full load, you would usually just use a capful.

Step 7: Water pressure is important! If you have a light/small load (which we doubt), then use the lowest setting for water pressure. If you have a big load, use the highest setting for water pressure. If you are confused, take a picture of your washing machine and send it to us. We will tell you what button to push.

Step 8. It does not hurt your clothes if they are left in the washer for longer than the machine is running! So don’t feel like you have to wait for the thing to buzz. When you get to your clothes and they are done, take them out and put them in the dryer.

Step 9: MAKE SURE TO CLEAN OUT THE LINT TRAP BEFORE TURNING THE DRYER ON. Place a fabric softener sheet in the dryer if you desire one. Send picture of dryer along with picture of washer for further instructions. Turn dryer on and hope that they dry.

We hope this helps keep you and your clothes clean.

*lights – Clothes that are neither white nor black, dark blue, dark brown, dark green, dark purple, or red. Your khakis should be lights. Your jeans are darks. You mostly have dark clothes. Gray is a confusing color. If the gray is lighter than the gray on the socks we got you, wash it with the lights. If it is darker, wash it with the darks.

**delicates – satin. Well, basically anything other than cotton. Which we don’t think you have so don’t worry.