"This is your year!"

The title of this post is a phrase I've heard from multiple people around my school in the past two weeks. What is it pertaining to? My relationship status. I know that the motive behind them saying it is a mixture of wanting me to be happy with someone and also their curiousness as to what I am like when I have a boyfriend. I think it secretly gives them a giggle thinking about "Momma Amber" (the girls' nickname for me) going googly eyed for some boy. But even though I know their teasing is all in good fun, I am finding myself completely discouraged by it. And it has unearthed a lot of sin in my life.

For as long as I can remember I have liked boys. At 4 years old I was crushin' on a lifeguard. At 5 years old I told my friends and parents about a boy I liked. I wasn't shy about it and could not keep it to myself. Over the years I have had a couple of not-so-serious relationships and one that was serious. Everyone always told me they thought I would be married by the time I graduated college. And this brings me to the sin that has been surfacing. I am a senior in college. I am almost 22 years old. So when my friends say, "This is your year!" I automatically think "YES IT IS! I deserve this! I'm ready! Lord, what in the world is going on? I thought this would have happened a long time ago! At least I thought I would be dating someone! My last boyfriend is getting MARRIED for heaven's sake! What happened to my turn?"
Wow. Talk about selfishness, pride, resentment, just all out sin.

And then the Lord showers his grace on me. And I am so thankful for his love, for his forgiveness and that because of his death I am free from the bondage of sin. I've been going through Romans the past couple of months and have just been blown away by God's goodness, love and mercy. Romans 3:21-24 says, "righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

So in those times when I begin to question why I'm not married yet I remember that if I never get married does not change the most important part about me: that I am free from sin and have been given the righteousness of Christ. I am a new creation in him. My life is to be an expression of all out worship to my King and I can do this by being married OR single!

So I guess it's about time!

Ok, it has been like over a year since I last updated on here. I guess I just got out of the habit and then life got busy.
I kind of miss blogging though. Especially now that I am away from home I think it will be a good way to keep people informed into the little things that are going on in my life.
Basically, long story short, last August I finally got to go to Boyce ON CAMPUS. No more of that online stuff! Although it was such a blessing to work full time and be able to do internet school, I absolutely adore my school. I love the girls on my hall, the professors, the classes, just everything. I found a great church which my roommate Katie and I both attend and we belong to an awesome community group (bible study) that meets on Wednesdays.
I am now a SENIOR which is absolutely crazy. Just wow. Super scary though.
I'm at school now but I leave tomorrow to go to Katie's house in St. Louis. I was here for a Jterm (five day intensive course) that ended last Friday.
This coming semester I am taking 18 credits and trying to work a part time job. We'll see! I am finally buckling down and doing math. Bleh.
The Lord has been so gracious to me. I feel so blessed to be here. I want time to slow down so I can take it all in. But that's not how life is going. It keeps getting faster and faster. But I guess that just means that before I know it I'll be heaven-bound!

"When we arrive at eternity's shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more, we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring, your bride will come together and we'll sing You're Beautiful!" - Phil Wickham.