Owl City and Current Life

So I'm pretty much obsessed with this band. It's one guy. His voice is so soothing and pure. LOVE. IT.
Reminds me of both Mae and Hellogoodbye




IN OTHER NEWS...

I am doing school and working hardly at all! I need more hours, otherwise I will have to get a more regular job.
Love my classes, but am not feeling motivated. This is my first semester of college ever not having any classroom courses. It's hard to endure. I feel like I'm still in Summer mode.

My birthday was AWESOME!!!! Loved it.

I am currently obsessed with decorating. Case in point, my house is currently filled with small squashes, there is a wreath on our door decorated with a big bow and red ribbon looped around it, multiple strategically placed candles, and a gigantic flower arrangement of deep red, orange and yellow.

Cardigans are also a big part of my life. Six purchased within the last two months.

I also love, love, love cooking/baking/trying out new recipes. In the three weeks, I've made pumpkin bread, brownies, jello, deviled eggs and my pumpkin pie bread fluke! Meredith and I also tried out cool recipes with popcorn. I doused mine in a mix of spicy herbs and sea salt with a spritz of I can't believe it's not butter spray. I am also looking forward to making some Wassel sometime later in the year. And a new idea from Aunt Laura; freshly baked bread!

Decorating? cardigans? cooking? I think back to the Amber before the age of 10 (the time of no shirt, all mimi, no pink, all sports and all brightly colored sweat pants) and wonder if my daughter will be the same way. :) Well, actually, the pink is still not in my life! But the brightly colored sweatpants are GONE!
Well... sports is still there. But the shirt stays on! and Mimi I guess stays in my room at all times...
I guess I'm not too different from that time. ;)

Philippians 3:20-21

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

School has started

So I'm a week and a half into the fall semester! Loving it (mostly) so far :) There are always obstacles, but they are being resolved. I love the content of the classes. I feel so fortunate to be a student of a school which I already love the classes and the professors and I know I'll be OK this time.

Work is semi-steady. I am definitley not making a lot of money, but I am working at least once or twice a week, which is very good.
I am very thankful for little children who ask me to sing "Jesus" songs over and over. They are three and two and I guess they just like me singing to them, and they ask for Jesus songs, because the first time I sang to them I guess I was only singing songs with His name in it. So now they just automatically ask for a "Jesus" song. So at least they are being exposed to some theological truth through the songs and maybe it will resonate with them somewhere down the road.

Ashley and I are going to see David Archuleta and Demi Lovato tomorrow. Ahahaha, I thought it was just David but I was wrong. It should be fun though. I am happy to get to spend some fun time with Ashley.

I am still looking for deep meaningful Christian fellowship with people my own age. This has been a prayer of mine for quite some time.

I am listening to Red. Such an awesome band. I want Flyleaf to come out with a new album!!!

My 20th birthday is in less than a month :)

That's all for now!

An Unexpected Blessing

There are a lot of rewards that I enjoy in my job....and this is just one of them :)

A quote from "Radical Womanhood"

"All the good things we can do here on earth are trumped by the one thing that is truly good-to worship Jesus now and for all eternity!"
-Carolyn McCulley

Babies

Tonight I've spent a lot of time thinking about babies and the challenges, blessings and changes in life that come with them. Earlier, I was watching the finale of 16 & Pregnant, a show on MTV that chronicled 6 teen mothers throughout their pregnancy and afterwords. Out of the 6 moms, 5 of them kept their children. I was especially moved by the teen mom who gave up her daughter for adoption. I cannot imagine the strength that it took to do that.
I was disappointed that none of the girls came out and said that teenagers should not be having sex at all. There was a lot of talk about using condoms, but no mention whatsoever of abstinence.
But out of their poor choices, a beautiful miracle and blessing from God came. Children are not an inconvenience and I pray that if I become pregnant at a time when it is not "convenient" for me, I will have an attitude of thankfulness.

I also was exposed to the blog by John Piper's daughter-in-law, Molly Piper, by my Dad. Her second child, Felicity, was stillborn and I spent a lot of time reading her blogs about her grief and loss. I can't even fathom what she is going through, and I pray that I never will. But I believe that God is Sovereign and His will is perfect. I found her posts encouraging, even though I have never gone through anything like she has gone through.

So tomorrow I go to babysit for a mom who has a 3 1/2 yr old, a 2 yr old and a 4 week old with a more joyful attitude and thankfulness for them, even if they do scream and whine and make messes :)

Janzens coming soon!

The Janzens are getting here tomorrow :) I am so excited. Grace and I have seen each other every summer since I was like 10 or 11. We thought maybe we weren't going to be able to see each other this year because of backpacking not happening, but Grammie and Bapa were so generous and paid for them to come out here! :) They are only staying until Sunday, though, so it is a very short visit. I canceled all but one of my babysitting jobs and the one I didn't cancel is a night one and Grace is coming with me.

I've been babysitting a lot. I knew July was going to be my busiest month. So far, I'm down two of the really busy days and they didn't go quite as I had expected. Monday, I went over to the family's house and their grandparents were there...who took the two older children canoeing and the baby slept for about an hour and a half. He finally is getting used to me, which is quite a relief. He wouldn't let me do ANYTHING for him and he would just scream and scream and scream. The two older children are a handful and are very disobedient, so it was nice to not have them for six hours. When they arrived home, they stayed outside and played with their play pool, the slide and the hose.

Today, I went over to the same house for 3 1/2 hours. I took the girl to the farmer's market, which was totally awesome. Who knew smelling and squeezing veggies and fruits would be so much fun. I have always wanted to go to see if they had good stuff, but I am always working on Tuesday mornings. One time, Daryl and I were waiting for someone and were near a farmer's market and had a sample of the tomatoes and OMGoodness I have never forgotten that tomato.

From that house, I had to go to another family for 4 hours. I only had 1/2 an hour between them, so I had to really rush to get lunch and then get to their house. When I got there, no one was there!!! So I called and was told to come back at 2 because they had gotten hung up at the doctor's (they have a brand new baby :) ) So as I am getting into my car from home at 1:50, I get a call saying wait for them to call me. So I wait at home...until they finally call me at 3:40 and I go over there (I was only supposed to stay until 5 originally). So needless to say, that mom had had a VERY stressful day. So I stayed a little bit over 5.

whew! Tomorrow is another of the same schedule as yesterday and then when I get to Grammie's, the Janzens will be there!

Adventures with GNBC Youth Group

So I went to camp with five teens the week of June 22-26. Two were from the church, two were old friends and one was a new friend :). We met up with the youth group from Woodlawn because they didn't have a female chaperon and I didn't have a male chaperon!
We had a wonderful time where God did amazing things.
Here are some pictures to help with the story.



Constance, Mary and Shannon had a great time together, doing everything from chatting, looking for boys, worshiping and just plain being silly.



I showed the girls what would happen if I brushed out all of my hair.



Two of the girls from Woodlawn locked themselves out of their room at 1 in the morning. I called LU Security and they came and unlocked the door. Got four hours of sleep that night :)



We went ice skating! And by we I mean they went and I took pictures.



We had to shove children wherever we could put them!



I tried Goat Milk...



And it was NASTY!




Charlotte lost a tooth!



And Mary asked Jesus to be her Savior :) :) :)



J really enjoyed being with the Woodlawn guys



We had a wonderful time together. Keep us all in prayer now that we are out of the camp bubble and are easily distracted from God. Pray for me that I will not slack off in continuing to minister to the kids.

Tonight was the beginning of VBS and it was a great success! I think this is the most work we've ever put into decorating and I think it really has paid off.

Crazy long time since I updated

Wow. It has been a really long time since I updated. It makes sense though because I was incredibly busy during the last month of school and didn't have much extra time for other things. But, praise God, I got through and really enjoyed the semester, no matter how much stress I was under. I ended up getting all A's again :) so I was really excited about that.
Since school, I have been doing a lot of things. First, I got my number in the Good Shepherd Catholic Church Mom's Group e-mail and I am now regularly babysitting for eight (yes, eight) families this summer. It is a challenging, emotional, tiring and oftentimes rewarding experience. As soon as the second week of July hits, I will be working 7 hours a day with two of my most challenging families. Most of my weekends are gone too, but that just means a lot of money this summer!!!

I also went down to see my wonderful family in Charlotte, NC. Oh my goodness, how I love to go there. It was so refreshing to be with all of them. I love them all so much I could burst. We went to three graduation parties, played tennis and football, went to Furman, swam in their backyard pool and just overall enjoyed being with one another. My Aunt Beth was gone for a lot of it because she was up visiting Erin, but I was so glad I got to see her for a couple of the days we were there. Her garden is absolutely amazing, as is her cooking!!!

Most recently, we had the GNBC talent show. This was the seventh time I had put on the talent show and it was a huge success :) It was a relief to just enjoy the show and not worry about stressful things and we all had a great time with yummy lasagna, garlic bread, salad and many desserts afterwords. I showed a video of when I was four and singing "Nothing but the Blood" with Mom in church. So cute. Mimi was with me.

Last night, Ashley and I went to The Fray concert. They were crazy awesome. I do have issues with some of their songs. I know that they are a christian band...or something like that...but I find no redemption or hope in some of their songs, especially the new one "You Found Me". And I do know the despair that comes from thinking God has abandoned me, but it isn't true that He did, so I guess I just don't understand the song. I love their song "Say When" now. The build up is awesome and when I saw it in concert, I didn't even know what they were saying and I was moved.
The people in front of us were having drama. It was scary. They got really drunk and it got bad. Ashley and I hope that the girl leaves the guy, because he was a major jerk and seemed abusive.

In the near future, I am taking five teenagers to camp for five days and then I am teaching VBS a week after we get back from camp.

In other news, Boyce accepted 12 out of my 14 credits from Liberty. Way more than I could have imagined and I am very excited and thankful. I am currently signed up for three classes from Boyce and plan to sign up for a math class at NOVA. I don't know yet if I will sign up for one more class at Boyce.

I can't stop listening to the song "If today was your last day" by Nickelback.
Some day will be my last day and then it'll be my first day in eternal paradise with the lover of my soul.

So I'll try to be better about updating. For now, I'm off to sleep and then 10 hours of babysitting tomorrow.

Jason and April Fool's Day

Trish and I went up to see Jason on Tuesday :) It was wonderful! We left about 4 p.m. and got there a little after 7:30. We got stuck in a lot of traffic but had a great time catching up. It always amazes me how long she and I can talk. We talked all the way up and all the way down...and also when we were with Jason!
We went up because it was my Spring Break and I didn't have time for any big trips...but I felt like it would be a great trip to go and have game night with Jason and his bible study group. It was a lot of fun. That group is an amazing group of people and I completely enjoyed meeting them. They were all so genuine, kind and funny. It was amazing! It was sooooo good to see Jason. But it always make me miss him a ton when we or he have to leave again.
After some debate about whether or not to spend the night with the two girls who had hosted game night, Trish and I decided we would come back that night. We got home about 2:30 in the morning and there was a note on my bed that said, " Hi Honey! Would you please clean the guinea pig cages before you go to bed tonight? They smell really terrible! Also, don't wake Daryl up. He has a really big day tomorrow. I hope you had a good time with Jason and I love you! - Mommy"
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I was like 'WHAT!!!" And Mom had told me to tell her when I got home so I went in there and was like "Mommmy.....do I really have to clean the guinea pig cages tonight?" And she looked really confused.
It was the morning of April 1st....and it was my April Fool's Day joke from Daryl!!! Hahahaha. I started laughing outloud at work today just thinking about it. Good one, Daryl :) But I kind of wish that I had cleaned them...because then he said he would have taken me to Famous Dave's.

I have eight papers due this month. But I just got an e-mail from my Missions professor....and I'm a little confused but I THINK it may mean that my final exam is not going to be as hard as I thought it was going to be! Yay

Oh yeah, and Mr. A has finally decided to close the store. We'll probably be done by the 1st of May, if not before.
I am sad for him, but I think that it is time.
I gotta look for another job now. Anyone? Anyone?

Hey! YOU WANNA PLAY A GAME?

Sunday night was hilarious. Charlie and I called like everyone in our phones who lived in the area to come and play Apples to Apples at my house. We ended up with five or six people, so it was fun. We played Qwirkle, Apples to Apples and Wits & Wagers. All awesome games.
Ashley won Qwirkle (as always) and Jeff won Apples to Apples. Playing that game with Charlie, Derek and Jeff was like playing with three J.J.s. J.J. is always picking the option no one thinks he will pick...or will pick it just because it is funny. It must be a guy thing.
I think Daryl and Derek won Wits & Wagers. Here's one of the questions: "How many acres would the number of pizzas that Americans eat on an average day cover?"
SO I SAID 500,000. SO WHAT!!!! Hahaha, I had no idea. I think it was around 100.
That's your tidbit for the day.

So far in March...

I haven't updated in so long. I've been so tired...and my life hasn't been very interesting. Just school basically.

Ashley's ball was a huge success :) We had a spectacular time with lots of food, fun presents, brownies and dancing! Ashley had like 4 birthdays. It was ridiculous, but awesome. So I hope you had a really great 25th birthday, Ashley, and that you felt loved by the people around you, because you are.

I was in a rotten mood towards the end of last week at work. I am really sick of answering the same questions. I honestly don't mind doing my job (ringing people up, showing people where things are, recommending music, books and bibles) but recently people have been so annoying because they see all the empty shelves and they have one of two reactions. First reaction, "what kind of business is this that you don't have EXACTLY WHAT I WANT? You USED to have it!!!" Or, second reaction, "why are there so many empty shelves? are you going out of business?" which then i reply "why, in fact, we are!" and then I am bombarded with the same questions "why? is business really that bad? is it the economy? what are YOU going to do? well, have you advertised?!"
I am frustrated because I feel like my boss doesn't have to answer all of these questions. I'm the person people see out there. I feel bad that he is losing his bookstore, but I think he should have gotten out a year ago like he told me was going to.
I feel stuck. If he hasn't closed by the middle of June, though, I will leave because of camp and I'm going to try and take two six week intensive classes at NOVA starting June 29th.
This is good though. I am glad I am aware of my frustration and I am aware when my attitude is becoming not caring towards the people who are asking questions. They don't know I've been asked the same thing all the time. God uses the tough times to teach us about ourselves. Obviously, I have a tendency to get overly frustrated and annoyed in this kind of situation. I hope that next week, when these questions come (and they will), I will be able to communicate well the predicament without giving out unnecessary information and will be patient with the questions of the customers. As well as the ridiculous statements like "Oh, God won't let this store close". Yeah, good luck with telling God what to do.

Mommy's birthday is today! I am so thankful that I have a Mommy like her. She is so understanding, loving, helpful and encouraging. Thank you, Mommy, for always loving me, even when I was acting like a brat. Daryl, Tara, Ashley and I got here something AWESOME. but we won't give it to her until tomorrow so I won't say what it is.
We ate food from Ivan's and I feel kind of sick. I think I ate too much...and then I had some of Ashley's jelly beans. My stomach feels weird. I hope I feel better soon so I can go to sleep. I have church in the morning.

Ashley and I watched a ridiculous amount of Twilight today (special features, commentary and finally the movie. what in the world.) Edward is definitely a fantasy man. He is beautiful, strong, dangerous, and is obsessed with the heroine, Bella. How misleading his character is. Every woman desires a man who will save her...and another part of her wants a man who is exciting/dangerous. We also want to fulfill him...save him from something. All of these elements can be found in Edward...but woe the girl who thinks she will find such a man.

It made me have conflicting feelings watching it. I miss the attention of someone, I miss the thrill of a new relationship but those things don't last for long. I was cleaning the kitchen with Ashley and told her about when my last boyfriend would clean the kitchen with me "just because he liked being with me". That ended after a month. So it makes me think, is all of that chemistry/flirting/excitement really worth losing it after a few months? I guess it's just important to realize that that stuff doesn't last. And relationships shouldn't be built around the excitement of it being new...because pretty soon...it'll be old.

Quote by Tim Hansel

"Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy. God has given us such immense freedom that he will allow us to be as miserable as we want to be.
I know some people who spend their entire lives practicing being unhappy, diligently pursuing joylessness. They get more mileage from having people feel sorry for them than from choosing to live out their lives in the context of joy.
Joy is simple (not to be confused with easy). At any moment in life we have at least two options, and one of them is to choose an attitude of gratitude, a posture of grace, a commitment to joy."
-Tim Hansel

I should be in bed

It's 11:30 and I should be in bed. But I got like 9 1/2 hours of sleep last night so I'm still not very tired. Although I will be feeling this tomorrow if I don't skedaddle soon.
One midterm down, two to go. My English midterm was canceled on Monday because of snow! It was my first snow day ever! What a great day that was.
I took my New Testament exam yesterday (Wednesday) and I feel pretty confident about it. Tomorrow if I get back from work early enough I'm going to take my Hermeneutics exam. I feel like I'm walking into the unknown in that one. I have no idea if it is all essay questions, if i'm allowed to use my notes or if it is multiple choice.

Ashley's ball is Saturday!!! And I am soooo excited. It's going to be such a blast :) We bought a bunch of food today. And some of our wonderful friends and family are bringing food. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I think we are going to have about 30 people there.

My other friend Ashley called me today. I thought she was Ashley D. and answered the phone like 'HEY!!!" and she said "hello?" and then I knew it wasn't Ashley D., but Ashley Z.!!! Hahaha. She is pregnant so it was fun to catch up on how she is doing with that. She's my first friend my age to get married and then pregnant. Wooooow. We had a nice chat for about ten minutes and then I had to go shop for the groceries. It really made me think about what could have happened to me if I had met someone awesome. Sure, if it had been God's plan for me to get married this young....so be it. But I am SO HAPPY that wasn't the plan. I don't want to be married right now. DEFINITELY later, but not now. I want babies too...but not now!!!
But I am so happy for Ashley and her husband Aaron :). They are a very loving and godly couple and their son will be a very blessed kid.
So no fixing me up, ok? Let me go to Boyce. I don't want to leave someone behind.
Thank you and goodnight. :)

My Man Shopping List

Hahaha. I have this "shopping" list next to bed. I wrote it in November of 2007. I stumbled upon it in my Word documents and thought it would be a nice addition to the blog. Also, I'm too tired to update one about what's been up.

1. He loves the Lord more than he loves me
2. He has a loving personality
3. He is humble
4. He is kind and considerate
5. He has a consistent and frequent prayer life
6. He is not quick to anger and frustration
7. He earns my respect through the way he conducts himself
8. He is involved in his church
9. He is honest
10. He has strong convictions about sexual purity, smoking, drinking and cursing.
11. He is encouraging
12. He gets along with my family
13. He cherishes me
14. He wants children
15. He enjoys playing sports (or tag or capture the flag, etc.)
16. He has a sense of humor that is both witty and goofy
17. He is comfortable with showing small physical displays of affection in public
18. He likes movies and mini golfing
19. He likes guinea pigs ? :)
20. He has brown hair? :) (I've always been a brunette lover...lol, sorry blondies :-P)

I think now I would add a few more things. One is "He is always reading and studying more of the Word and seeking the counsel of mature believers"

Maybe another day I'll make a revised version.

Feeeeeling good

I am all better! I was so sick there for a while though. I was in such a bad mood and didn't have the energy or will to do anything. It was one of those times where I was happy that I was home so my family could take care of me. Being sick away from home is terrible.
But it was also one of those times where I wish that I was still a homeschooled high school student with no job and no real deadlines on school. Hahaha.

But now I am feeling better! And just in time too because I have three midterms next week and three papers (well, four, really but one was turned in today) due this week.
I got my grades back FINALLY on my Hermeneutics first paper and my ridiculously confusing terminology sheets. I GOT A 100 ON MY PAPER. I am sooooo happy. That was a really hard paper. I think I got about an average of a B or B + on those term sheets. The first one I missed 4 out of 10 so that hurt me a ton. But the rest of them I did well on. I don't have any more of those due until like the end of April or something.

Ashley and I went to Frontline last night. It was cool. They're doing a really interesting series right now. It's more of an apologetics study, which I think is necessary for my generation what with all the different views out there and the downplay of absolute truth. It's like a what we believe, why we believe, what is the support for our belief kind of series. However, I would hope that the members of Frontline would also be involved in small groups that are going to get into the meat of Scripture.

Oh yeah. BABYSITTING. It was awesome. The kids are so sweet and good. However, I totally thought the baby was dead for like a second. But she wasn't. She had just spit up all in her bed. But that was a terrible feeling. I did homework for like an hour and a half and then talked on the phone for like an hour. I was really tired by the time the parents got home.
I babysat the next day too for 6 1/2 hours! I was REALLY tired after that. But that also might have been because I was getting sick.

Ashley's party is the 7th of March.
I need to sign us all up for camp before March 3rd.
I have New Testament questions due by Wednesday
I have one quiz on Thursday
I have two papers due on Friday
I have to read over 150 pages from all my subjects by Friday before noon
I have one midterm on the 2nd of March
I have two more exams sometime between March 2nd and March 8th (Distance learning gives students a full week so they can do the exam when it is most convenient)
Oh yeah, and I have to watch my lecture dvds.

:) I am glad I am not sick anymore

Very Sick (How to do Laundry)

I am a very sick person at the moment! So I don't really have the brain power to write and update (although I will before long...all about babysitting and school and whatever) but right now I wanted to post something that I found when I was looking through my old Word files the other night.

Ashley and I wrote this for Jason when he was moving away to Pennsylvania...and it made me laugh when I read it on Sunday night :) Enjoy

HOW TO DO LAUNDRY

for Jason

written by Ashley and Amber

Step 1: Wear your clothes until they are dirty. (Now dirty does not mean you wear them until people noticeably steer clear of you because of your smell! If you wear it more than twice, it is dirty. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF UNDERWEAR. Underwear is a one time thing! Underwear is dirty as soon as you put it on).

Step 2: Put your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper/basket.

Step 3: When the basket is full (just to the brim, not 2 feet higher than the brim), take it to the nearest washing machine. Take with you detergent and fabric softener sheets for the dryer (if you desire softness…in your fabrics).

Step 4: Separate the colors! Darks, lights*, whites, towels and delicates**. Now, we realize that you are probably not willing to do all of that separating, and that is acceptable. Combine your darks and lights (it won’t hurt them…it will just fade the lights more quickly). NEVER WASH WHITES WITH ANYTHING BUT WHITES. Towels can be washed with their like colors too. We recommend you wash them by themselves.

Step 5: Put the clothes in the washer. If you are washing the whites, wash them in HOT water. If you are washing the darks, wash them in COLD water. If you are washing the lights, wash them in WARM water. If you combine your darks and lights, use cold water.

Step 6: Read instructions on the bottle of detergent. If you have a full load, you would usually just use a capful.

Step 7: Water pressure is important! If you have a light/small load (which we doubt), then use the lowest setting for water pressure. If you have a big load, use the highest setting for water pressure. If you are confused, take a picture of your washing machine and send it to us. We will tell you what button to push.

Step 8. It does not hurt your clothes if they are left in the washer for longer than the machine is running! So don’t feel like you have to wait for the thing to buzz. When you get to your clothes and they are done, take them out and put them in the dryer.

Step 9: MAKE SURE TO CLEAN OUT THE LINT TRAP BEFORE TURNING THE DRYER ON. Place a fabric softener sheet in the dryer if you desire one. Send picture of dryer along with picture of washer for further instructions. Turn dryer on and hope that they dry.

We hope this helps keep you and your clothes clean.

*lights – Clothes that are neither white nor black, dark blue, dark brown, dark green, dark purple, or red. Your khakis should be lights. Your jeans are darks. You mostly have dark clothes. Gray is a confusing color. If the gray is lighter than the gray on the socks we got you, wash it with the lights. If it is darker, wash it with the darks.

**delicates – satin. Well, basically anything other than cotton. Which we don’t think you have so don’t worry.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's here! The one day when every couple (ok, maybe just about every couple) in America gets together and expresses their love for one another. I am actually a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I think that when couples have been together a long time, it's nice just to have one special day that is all about them and the love they share. Sure, commercialism is a huge problem with every kind of gimmick imaginable, but I still think that this day is a nice tradition.

I am babysitting for two couples who love each other very much so that they can go out. One on Sunday night and one Monday afternoon. I think that is a good idea because I know the lines must be ridiculously long at all the restaurants tonight. I am glad that I am able to bless them so that they can spend time together without the kids. It's important to nurture that relationship between a husband and wife. Kids are important, but they need to see a model of what a healthy marriage looks like and I believe that that means private dates sometimes!!!

Anyway, for my Valentine's Day, I was supposed to go to Pennsylvania to see my grandparents...but Daddy got sick :( so we couldn't go. I had a free day! So I slept late (10:45) and then did homework from 2 to 4. Daryl and Tara and I watched Taken. It was aaaawesome Liam Neeson was like Jack Bauer on crack!!!
Mommy, Daddy and I had soup for dinner with cheez-its. Now I am going to finish my day with a wonderful evening watching whatever I want in Daryl's room :) He and Tara are out at The Cheesecake Factory. Daryl has like a hundred movies on his computer.
I'll probably end up watching Becoming Jane or some other great sappy movie like that :) Yay!

Happy Valentine's Day all you wonderful couples! Cherish your beloved not only on this day but everyday!

Accomplishments and Endings

I feel like I finally got something done today! I finished those maps for New Testament (oh man. took me over four hours, but I did it!) I also got all of my reading done for Hermeneutics and yesterday I did both of the lectures. It seems I had more lectures that were longer at the beginning of the semester? why is that?!! Aren't they supposed to build up or something???

I rewarded myself with these accomplishments by watching LOST with Daryl. It is so awesome. I can't believe I didn't take into account that they could be doing time travel. That explains a lot...

Red's new cd "Innocence & Instinct" came out today. I am showing self control though because I want to wait until Friday so that I can get a good deal. I CAN'T WAIT THOUGH. I have a huge poster of them in my room. I've never been much a poster kind of girl, but I do have one of Flyleaf and one of Red.
I think "Pieces" is my favorite songs of Red's from their first album "End of Silence". It'll be at the end of this post...

Tomorrow I'm going to hang out with Trish. I feel kind of sad. We've been friends since October or November of 2003 and she was there through well...everything that has been of great importance in the last 5 1/2 years. But people always grow apart and we've been doing that for a while. I love her to death and I know she feels the same way. But sometimes it just happens.
She moved out of Grammie and Bapa's and I don't have much hope for us staying in touch. I hardly see her when she lives there...so I don't think I'll see her much now that she's living in Fairfax. I pray that the Lord brings her to himself. She's always jumping from one thing to the next and can never sit still. I know she's not satisfied because we can't truly be satisfied without Christ. But his ways are not my ways and I will continue to pray for her. But I think that my time of ministering to her may be over.

Ashley and I saw "He's just not that into you" and this one part made me laugh so hard. It was a little interview with two black ladies like in the middle of the movie. And they were talking about how men try to make us think it was our idea to break up but instead it was their's. If that makes sense. Anyway, so they were talking about the different lines that guys use and one of the ladies said "Oh I love that one where they're all like 'Whoever you end up marrying is going to be a really lucky guy'... WELL HECK, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU!" Hahahahaha I laughed so hard because that's been used on me before and I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING. If you think it would be such a blessing for someone to marry me, WHY NOT DO IT YOURSELF?

Anyway, here's "Pieces" by Red.

Starfield "Reign In Us"

I love Starfield and have since I was fifteen. I bought the cd that this song is on and I can't find it :( but I love this song.

Today and Tomorrow

I rewarded myself by not doing any homework past 9:30. Hahahaha. I had to write my first paper for Boyce and they have a weird format that took me a long time to get right. But both Mommy and Daddy helped me and everything is ok now!
Also, the subject matter of the paper itself was really confusing so that took me a long time. But good news, because of the power outage in Kentucky, i don't have to do my first two quizzes for Missions. So thaaat's nice.

I have a sore in my mouth and it hurts so bad. What in the world.

Tomorrow....hmmm...I'm going to work...which has been annoying recently. It's so boring and then I get used to being able to get all my homework done and so then I get annoyed when customers are ridiculous and/or needy. I have good weeks and bad weeks. This has been a bad week. I feel bad for Mr. A because he's losing so much money. But I am frustrated with him because I feel like he just needs to make a decision. IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER. Let's just pack everything up and take it to the other store.
Also, I want to get off when the schedule says I get off. I'm constantly feeling bad that I have to leave when I have to leave. So I leave him hanging because someone is not there to let me off.

Anyway, back to tomorrow. After work I'll go to Grammie's and then Ashley and I are going shopping for Jason. lol. The man doesn't eat when he doesn't have someone feeding him. So we're loading him back up with stuff.
Then I'll come back home and since I don't have to study for that quiz...I guess I'll watch a Missions lecture or just hang out with Ash.

I hate that the sense of smell brings back memories.

Spazzy is running around on the floor and finding random things to eat. She's so cute :)

Now I am going to reward myself again with calling Grace :)

Which to bury, us or the hatchet?

One of my favorite Relient K songs of ALL TIME. Next to Sadie Hawkins Dance I guess.

Babysitting, Soup and Robbie Seay Band

Babysitting went very well. I got there at 7:30 and all three children were in bed by 8:40. All three are a joy. The baby (about 8 or 9 months) got a little frustrated while I was putting the other two down for bed. I can't imagine being about to give equal amounts of attention to each child when you have a baby that you have to watch all the time to make sure she's ok and not about to kill herself or choke on something. hahaha So I felt bad that I wasn't able to really talk to the other two and give them my full attention. But I hope to babysit for them again.

The baby was frustrated and upset by the time I got the older two in bed. I had to sing to her and rock her for a while, but I didn't mind. I sang "Give me Jesus" and 'Hide Away in the Love of Jesus" because those are both soothing songs and I know all the words. Can you believe I forgot the words to Jesus Loves Me when I was putting the other two down?!!!! Hahahaha
I spent the rest of the night doing homework and it was great.

Today I went to church, did homework, went to target, went to the Souperbowl Party and just finished more homework. Every year we have our church's Superbowl Party at Grammie and Bapa's and we eat Soup, so it's called the Souperbowl Party. We had a great time. Food was awesome (I think i overdid it. oh well.) and Jason came down. Mariana was also there :) as well as the Montgomerys.
The Steelers won, which is fine, even though I was kind of routing for Arizona. I wanted them to win because they never had, but I am a fan of Pittsburgh so it is all good.

I'm listening to "Love Wins" by Robbie Seay Band. It's awesome.

It's a big world, we are hoping
For a big change, we are broken
In the fading light of a dying sun
We cry for redemption

There is hope, there is hope, there is hope
But everyone who's lost will be coming home
And everything that hurts will be whole again
And love will be the last thing standing

Can't stop, you can't stop the seasons
Don't stop, don't stop believing

Keep on dreaming of the day when it all will change
Believe in the end, love wins
If you're waiting for the time when your sun will shine
Oh, look above cause love wins

If it hurts you, just breathe in
When it pains you, just believe in
The radiant light of the morning sun
We can find our redemption

Love is strong, love is strong, love is strong
It's been there holding you all along
Everything thrown away will be new again
And love will be the last thing standing

There is hope, there is hope for my lonely soul
There is hope, there is hope to be made whole
There is life, there is life to be set free
There is life there is life surrounding me
There is hope, there is hope for my broken heart
There is hope, there is hope for a brand new start
There is life, there is life give me eyes to see
There is life, there is life you have captured me


I'm going to bed now because I have to get up for English class tomorrow!

Sinners tend to respond sinfully to being sinned against

It's true. In my very limited and small experience in life, I have seen the pattern of revenge over and over again. "She said this about me so I'm going to say this about her" would be the one that comes forefront to my mind.
This attitude of justified gossip has ruined so many friendships. The need to defend yourself against the accusations of others more often than not culminates in you slandering that person. I've done it. I think we probably all have. When I was 13-15, I knew that gossip wasn't healthy or right. I knew it would possibly make the situation worse, but I had such a strong urge to defend myself that I did in fact make everything worse.

However, I learned something when I was 15, and then more strongly when I was 18 at Liberty. People RESPECT you when you don't gossip about others, but you may not find that out until later. After losing many friendships in my mid-teens, I made a point to not defend myself to the point of slandering another. I remember when someone asked me point blank "SO! Why don't you like Susan ?(name changed)" and I was totally hurt and taken aback. I did not want all of that to surface again. I did not want to tell this person the reason "Susan" and I had a falling out because then that would possibly change this person's view of her.

As a result of avoiding gossip at Liberty, I was thrown into a lot of uncomfortable situations. I was lied about and persecuted because of it, but I prayed that God would give me edifying words and to be able to avoid/change the subject if these situations happened.
Even though I was ridiculed a lot, some people told me they knew I would not discuss rumors or spread stories about someone else and that they respected me for that.

I'm not saying I never fell. Even though I did not talk badly to my school mates about some people at school, I would talk to my family back home.
It's a hard line between talking to someone about something you are struggling with in regards to a person who is persecuting you and crossing that line where you are spreading things that are not necessary to be passed on.

Where will the cycle stop? Someone has to break it in order for healing and reconciliation to take place.

Thanks, Mom!

I love that I can type. THANK YOU MOM. It makes taking notes so much easier. I watch my lecture dvds on my laptop and take my notes while watching. This is very easy for my New Testament class. My teacher doesn't have power points but talks slowly and emphasizes what we need to write down. He also already has the outlines online.
I looove my Hermeneutics class, but it takes a very long time to take notes for. He uses a lot of detailed power points and I have to pause the video to get all of it. There is a lot of information but I love it. SO INCREDIBLY INTERESTING.

I just put on my calender when all of my assignments are due for my three Boyce classes. I don't have any info about when my English assignments are though. All I know is that I have a paper due a week from Monday and my final exam is May 11th. Boyce will be done by May 3rd though.

I spend so much time on school. I really don't understand how people have social lives when they're doing 15, 16, 17 and up credits.
I think it will calm down once I get caught up on the lectures though. Soon the deadlines start for my assignments.

In other news, I am babysitting on Saturday night. I am really excited 'cause I'm getting paid a bundle and the family is really nice. I am a little apprehensive about having three kids 3 and under but....eh....good practice :). I've never really spent much time with babies and they have an 8 month old.

I've been going through a bunch of my old cds from when I was like 15, 16. and wow. I listened to a lot of break up songs.
So now I'm in that kind of reminiscing mood.

Oh and I just rediscovered POD. and it's awesome.
And RED's new album comes out on FEBRUARY 10th!!!!

Too Keyed Up

Usually I try to keep my posts kind of focused but tonight I have way too many thoughts. First, update about school. It seems I always find out something really important the night before my class. So I thought my English class was at Annandale (because...I signed up for a class at Annandale) but I asked Karen where the HE building was and she was like "what?" So I looked at the map of the campus and couldn't find it anywhere. It turns out it's a special OFF CAMPUS location in Springfield. That's great for me because it's closer but what if I had gone to Annandale just looking for the HE building?!!! It's all good though because i get to sleep later. and less traffic.
I finished the paper. Well, the first draft. But that's the hardest part.

My KJV Only Controversy book is amazingly interesting. Working in a christian bookstore, I get a lot of people who want only the "Holy Bible" or the only "Inspired" verson, meaning the King James. Being an avid supporter of the ESV, I am not a fan of the KJV only people. As the author James White says, I am not against the King James Verson. I am against the thought that it is the ONLY version. I have to write a book report in the next two weeks and will probably post it here if anyone is interested. I have found it incredibly awesome. I am so happy to be getting a Christian education. I am so happy to be getting a Biblical Counseling degree. I don't even care if it becomes a career and I make money from it. I want God to use me in healing His people. I want to be able to reach out to my husband and have open dialog about our struggles. I want to train my children up in the Lord and teach them about relationships, addictions and our true purpose here on earth.

I just wrote out a long paragraph about a book Kim and I are going through right now but I can't collect my thoughts enough to give the subject matter justice.

I had a hard time focusing at Frontline today. I kept being reminded of things that I am grateful happened but caused me a lot of pain. But then at the end of the service I was reminded that Jesus came and saved me from my sin and that caused Him a lot of pain too. He knows how we suffer. He came as a human. He knows what it's like to be tempted, to be mocked, to be unloved, to be misunderstood, to be forsaken.

If God uses me through my failures, that's what I want to do. If God uses me through my sufferings, that's what I want to do. If God uses through me through my humiliation, that's what I want to do. If God uses me through my death, that's what I want to do.

My daddy's bumper sticker says this: Set your affections above on Jesus.

Now all I know is Grace

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You
-All I Have is Christ by Jordan Kauflin

School, School, School

I've had lots of drama with school the last few days. I am taking one class at NOVA and three classes through Boyce's online degree program. Boyce is my school but I just have to take three classes at NOVA because they don't offer them through online classes at Boyce. I paid for Boyce, which meant they shipped my DVDs and also I have all of my books on the way. That's great! Classes don't officially start there till Monday the 19th. Like I said last time, I'm nervous but excited.
However, NOVA is my source of stress. I'm sorry to badmouth the place, but I really hate it. I've had so many problems (and those were just last semester) but I've already started this semester out on a bad foot. But, praise be to my Lord, He had a lot of good come out of my stress from the last couple of days.

I was signed up for a Hybrid English Composition 2 class on Tuesday mornings from 9:30-10:45. I kept checking the bookstore and my professor had not assigned any books for the class. Also, she had not put up a syllabus. The day before my class (Monday), I arrived home from my Pastor's house at about 9:30 p.m. Usually I don't get home till 11:30 so I guess right there is a blessing from God. Anyway, I logged onto my blackboard account and my class was up! Yay! Well.....I looked at the syllabus and it said that it was a class called Women in Literature!!!!!! AND I DID NOT WANT TO TAKE THAT!!!!! So I was really upset and tried to change it, but I couldn't because NOVA hadn't approved my English Composition 1 class from Liberty yet. Before, I had just gone to an advisor and she had manuelly done it. So I had to go to the school the next day (Tuesday) and try to change the class. Which meant I would miss the class I wanted to switch my original one with.

Now, I am a pretty huge overachiever academically. I didn't realize it until I went to Liberty but I am. I have thought a lot about why I am this way and I think I have pinpointed the reason. All of my cousins are way smart. And I mean way smart. And I always felt like the kind of average one so I really wanted to prove myself when I got to college and get a 4.0 and everything. Well, I did that but I also left after just one semester. Because of that, I still felt like a failure and that my family looked down on my intelligence and/or endurance. So missing the first class is kind of a big deal to me.

As I prepared for my visit with the adviser, I prayed for God's peace and that He would fill me with contentment in any situation. Probably a year and a half ago I wouldn't have done that but He reminded me of His presence and control and I cried out to Him. I have such a loving Lord. He did calm me and I went into my meeting ready for whatever was thrown me. The class I wanted was full so I signed up for a class at a different location on Mondays instead of Tuesdays. In the end, this is a much better situation for me. This location is where a few of my friends go and I am glad that I am going there as well. I have e-mailed my new professor and she has already responded to me! I am excited about the class and my first assignment sounds fun and interesting.

So my prayer is that when I face trials, I will be reminded of this little bit of stress and how God changed it into a learning experience and overall a better situation for me.

Playoffs

Today I'm sitting here watching the Giants and Eagles game. I hate both of those teams, so I don't really care. I guess I'm routing for the Giants though. My manager, Bridget, and her family are from New York and I know she'll be happy if they win.
I felt really terrible this morning because of being on the diet. I have low blood sugar just normally and the first two weeks of South Beach are pretty strict. So I woke up and felt really terrible and shaky and weird so I just went back to bed. Which sucks because I won't be able to go to my church next week because Ashley and I are going to Mclean Bible after spending the night at her Aunt's.

I finally got signed up for classes at Boyce, which is cool, but it's really annoying being a transfer student. Like incredibly annoying. But I hope everything gets straightened out and some of my credits will transfer because I don't think I could stand it if none of my credits from Liberty transfered. It would be like starting as a first semester freshman again.
I'm signed up for Hermeneutics (interpretation of the bible), New Testament Survey 2 and Intro to Christian Missions. I am excited, yet a little nervous.

I Have a Shelter

These are the lyrics to the Sovereign Grace song "I Have a Shelter" on the album Come Weary Saints. Mom had it playing today because she is considering teaching our congregation to sing it.

I thought that the words were encouraging. The melody is also gorgeous.


I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven

Happy New Year!

I did write a blog on the 1st of January, but I didn't say anything about the New Year! Well, I had a great time on New Year's Eve. I got off work at 1 and went home where I have no idea what I did for the rest of the day. In the evening, Ashley and I and Mom and Dad went to church for games, snacks and a movie. Well, we didn't end up watching the movie because we were having so much fun playing Time's Up!!! Oh man, that is such a fun game. I'm going to have the kids play it tomorrow at youth group. It's basically a cross between Taboo and Charades. Grammie and Bapa even played and they actually did really well, even though a lot of the cards had pop culture titles on them. We played up until 11:30 and Ashley and I got home at 11:50. We watched the ball drop and Ashley cried at Dick Clark.

I had the day off from work on the 1st and I was totally screwed up the rest of the week. Friday felt like Monday, Saturday felt like Tuesday (because I usually have that day off anyway) so I felt on Sunday morning like I had to go to work.

Daryl and I painted my bathroom green! It all started with him getting me a new shower curtain for Christmas. I will post pictures soon

But now my laptop is dying because Ashley has my laptop cord because her cord exploded

Taylor Swift's Song "Breathe"

Making my Christmas list this year seemed like a daunting task. I guess I wanted a lot of things...but I also felt like I could just get most of them myself. I love buying new things to decorate the house with. I like buying stuff for cooking and also I spend a lot of money on food. So I focused on things that I would never buy for myself but kind of wanted. One of those things was Taylor Swift's new CD "Fearless". I have never been a huge fan of hers, but I loved her first single from the album (Love Story) so I thought I would most likely like the rest of it. I was right! I really love the CD. But I really don't have the time or energy to write a full review of it so I'm just going to focus on one song.

The seventh track on "Fearless" is called "Breathe". It is a gorgeous slow song that fits her voice perfectly. The first time I heard the song in my car, I started crying. Let me explain what the song is about. The song is about the ending of a relationship. It uses phrases like "Now I don't know what to be without you around" "Never a clean break, no one here to save me" and "I can't breathe without you, but I have to". This song works so well because I believe that a lot of people can relate with this feeling of loss. As I sat crying in my car, I became very aware of how warped this sense of sadness was for me. I also became concerned as to why I had felt such a strong reaction.
As a child of God, I know who I am. I know what to be. I know who will save me. I have the love of a God who is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-sustaining.
I don't want to downplay the sadness of losing someone close. Relationships are painful and it is OK to be disappointed, upset and hurt by their endings. But we do have a Healer and Savior in Jesus Christ. So, yes, we can breathe without that person. We can move on with our lives. We can be who we are supposed to be without them because we will be with who we truly need for eternity.

The song is gorgeous and even though I do not whole-heartedly agree with the lyrics, it hits that emotional nerve inside of me. I still tear up sometimes when I think of what could have happened and what really did happen in the end. I am joyful because I will never have my relationship end with my Heavenly Father.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10